Like most people, I suppose, I try to avoid seeming like a jerk.

我想，和大多数人一样，我试着让自己不要看上去像个混蛋。

Here are some strategies I try to use:

下面是一些我会用到的方法：

1. Offer meaningful compliments.

1.说一些有意义的赞美。

Emphasis on the "meaningful." I try to say things like, “You have a good memory” or “You obviously know a lot about this subject.” Empty, automatic compliments like “Great tie!” don’t count.

重点在有意义上。我试着说一些这样的话：“你记性真好”或者“你显然对这个问题非常了解。”空洞且不假思索的赞美，譬如“这条领带不错”，完全没任何意义。

2. Give credit to others.

2.归功于他人。

“The team did all the work,” “Pat came up with this idea.” Being generous with giving credit does not minimize your contribution.“

是大家完成了所有工作，”“Pat想出了这个主意。”大方地将功劳归功于别人并不会减少你的贡献。

3. Ask questions and allow others to supply information.

3.提问并让他人回答。

I’ve seen good leaders ask questions to which they knew the answers, merely to allow others the chance to demonstrate what they know. This is a challenge for me. I find it hard to ask for help, to say, “I don’t know,” or keep quiet while others respond.

我见到过一些好的领导者会问一些已经知道答案的问题，仅仅是为了让其他人有机会说话。这对我是一个挑战。找别人帮忙，回答“我不懂”，或者在别人作答时保持安静对我来说都挺难的。

4. Admit error!

4.承认错误!

It’s so hard to say “You were right, I was wrong” or “This was my fault,” but so important. Also, it’s a key to leadership. As my father once told me, “If you’ll take responsibility for failure, you’ll be given responsibility for decisions.”

说“你是对的，我是错的”或者“这是我的错”非常难，但却非常重要。而且，承认错误也是领导力的关键。我爸爸有次对我说，“如果你能对失败负责，那么你将能被委以重任。“

5. Remember other people’s names and some details of their lives.

5.记住他人的名字及一些生活细节。

How many times have you heard people complain that “So-and-so has met me five times, but never remembers me”? It hurts people’s feelings.

有多少次你听到别人抱怨道“某某人都见了我5次了，还记不住我的名字”。这都是在伤害别人的感情。

6. Call on others for their specific contributions.

6.邀请他人提供看法。

“Pat is our expert on that,” “Lee, what do you think?”“

Pat是这方面的专家，”“Lee，你怎么看?”

7. Teasing.

7.逗人开心。

One way of showing fellow feeling is teasing people – gently. People liked to be joshed, but not about anything sensitive.

有一种与人打成一片的方式就是礼貌地和别人开玩笑。人们喜欢开玩笑，只要不是敏感的话题。

8. Remember your limits.

8.记住你不是万能的。

You’re just one person. You’re not infallible. It actually is possible that you’re wrong.

你只是一个普通人。你不可能永远正确。有些时候很有可能错的就是你。

9. Don’t be a bore.

9.不要做一个无趣的人。

Don't assume that others are as interested in the minutiae of your life as you are.

不要假设别人和你一样，对你生活的琐事感兴趣。

10.Be courteous to others, no matter who they are.

10.不管对方是谁，都要礼貌相待。

William Lyon Phelps wrote, “The final test of a gentleman is his respect for those who can be of no possible service to him.” It's important to be nice to everyone.

威廉-利昂-菲尔普斯(美国教育家，文学评论家和演说家，耶鲁大学教授与学者)曾经写道：这是对君子的一项决定性的实验：他是否尊重对自己可能毫无用处的人。对每个人都要友好，这一点很重要。