做任何事情都有适当、不适当的时机,机智就是要在适当时机做适当的事和说适当的话。机智和礼节有很密切的关系,一个人不可能只具备其中一种而缺少另一种特质,机智是一项无价的处世技巧,表现机智和缺乏机智,同样会让人看得见。
There is a right moment and a wrong moment for everything.Tact is the habit of doing and saying the right thing at the right moment.Tact is so closely related to courtesy that you cannot practice one without the other.It is an invaluable skill,just as noticeable for its absence as for its presence.
以下是缺乏机智时最常发生的情况:
Here is a list of the most common ways people show their lack of tact:
1.不注意自己说话的语气,经常以不悦而且对立的语气说话。
1.Carelessness in their tone of voice,often speaking in gruff,antagonistic tones.
2.应该保持沉默的时候偏偏爱说话。
2.Speaking out of turn,when silence would be more appropriate.
3.打断别人的话。
3.Interrupting others who are speaking.
4.滥用人称代词。以至在每个句子中都用“我”这个字。
4.Overworking the personal pronoun so that every sentence features the word"I".
5.以傲慢的态度提出问题,给人一种只有他最重要的印象。
5.Asking impertinent questions,often to impress others with their own importance.
6.在谈话中插入一些和自己有亲密关系,但却会使别人感到不好意思的话题。
6.Injecting intimately personal subjects into the conversations when such subjects are embarrassing to others.
7.不请自来。
7.Going where they have not been invited.
8.自吹自擂。
8.Boastfulness
9.嘲笑社会上的穿着规范。
9.Flouting social norms in matters of attire.
10.在不适当时刻打电话。
10.Making calls at inconvenient hours
11.在电话中谈一些别人不想听的无聊话。
11.Holding people on the telephone with needless conversations.
12.对不熟悉的人写一封内容过分亲密的信。
12.Writing letters that are overly familiar to people they hardly know.
13.不管自己了不了解,而任意对任何事情发表意见。
13.Volunteering unsolicited opinions on any subject under the sun,without regard to their knowledge.
14.公然质问他人意见的可靠性。
14.Openly questioning the soundness of others' opinions.
15.以傲慢的态度拒绝他人的要求。
15.Declining requests from others in an arrogant manner.
16.在别人的朋友面前说一些瞧不起他的话。
16.Speaking disparagingly of people in front of their friends.
17.指责和自己意见不同的人。
17.Rebuking people who disagree with them.
18.评论别人的无能力。
18.Commenting on people's disabilities.
19.当着他人的面,指正部后和同事的错误。
19.Correcting subordinates and colleagues in the presence of others.
20.请求别人帮忙被拒绝后心生抱怨。
20.Complaining when requests for favors are refused.
21.利用友谊请求帮助。
21.Presuming upon friendship in asking for favors
22.措词不敬或具有攻击性。
22.Using profane or offensive language
23.当场表示不喜欢。
23.Expressing dislikes at a drop of a hat
24.老是想着不幸或痛苦的事情。
Dwelling on ills or misfortunes
25.对政治或宗教发出抱怨。
25.Complaining about politics or religion
26.表现过亲密的行为。
26.Displaying general overfamiliarity
如果你认为这些都是一些小缺点的话,那就错了。因为 这些缺点的混合速度是非常快的!你愿意和平常就显露出三“种缺点的人交往吗?这些缺点意味着,缺乏感受和细心体谅 的能力,并且会使人对这种人的智慧产生怀疑,任何想要培 养具吸引力个性的人,都应远离这些缺点。
If these faults seem small to you,consider how quickly they compound one another.Would you want to be associated with someone who displayed just three of them regularly? They reveal a lack of perception and careful consideration that undermines one's confidence in another's mental powers. Anyone who desires an attractive personality will avoid them all.